" QUOTH THE CYNIC...NEVERMORE ! "
10/24/00 by Keith Sowder
- Guest Columnist
Once upon a noon day dreary
as I drove home weak and weary
listening to Jeff Piecoro read the scores
My demeanor soon turned unhappy
as they played a promo, inane and sappy
About our team...the one most crappy
Claiming to restore the roar.
Quoth the Cynic. "Nevermore ! "
As I listened fairly seething
How could this team that's barely breathing
Defeat a baby that's still teething ?
Let alone restore the roar
Quoth the Cynic." Nevermore ! "
With a GM dumb and boring
Players drinking, drug and whoring
And our offense seldom scoring
How could Mike Brown be imploring
That we'll soon restore the roar ?
Quoth the Cynic. " Nevermore ! "
When this team we so adore
Employs an owner we abhor
Who shoos free agents out the door
As the players rack up felonies galore
Quoth the Cynic. " Nevermore ! "
You know it doesn't take a sage
To know the fans will rail and rage
When you field a team for minimum wage
As their Tax-dollars build your stadium on the shore
Quoth the Cynic. " Nevermore ! "
How can we continue hoping
Or to try to keep on coping
All to stop this endless moping
bringing back those days of yore
Quoth the Cynic. " Nevermore ! "
But alas , you'll keep us snoring
While your money you keep storing
And the city you keep whoring
Cause you're the lying pimp, we most deplore
Quoth the Cynic. " Nevermore ! "
When the concrete pigs can fly
When Darryl Strawberry isn't high
When K.D. Lang sleeps with a guy
When William J. Clinton don't deny
Maybe then we'll start to buy
Your see-thru , flimsy lie
Quoth the Cynic. " Never F**kin' More !!!! "
copyright 1999
K.S./Yin & Yang Promotions
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